A Word-Study Chart · Releasing What You Hold
aphiēmi · to send away · let go · release · cancel a debt · forgive
forgiveness is not a feeling you summon — it is a debt you release
The words · what forgiveness is
Two Greek words carry it. ἀφίημι (aphiēmi) means to send away, let go, release — the same word used for canceling a debt and remitting a sin. χαρίζομαι (charizomai) is built on charis, grace: to forgive is literally to "grace" someone, to give them the gift of a cleared account. Unforgiveness, then, is the refusal to release — the clenched fist that keeps holding what is owed. Scripture treats that grip as both disobedience and danger.
Peter thought seven times was generous. Jesus answered "seventy times seven" and told a story that puts every grudge in the light of the cross. Read it as three scenes and a verdict.
Ten thousand talents — a fortune no servant could ever repay.
σπλαγχνισθεὶς … ἀπέλυσεν αὐτὸν καὶ τὸ δάνειον ἀφῆκεν αὐτῷ
splanchnistheis … to daneion aphēken
Moved with compassion, the master released him and forgave him the debt.
The verb is ἀφῆκεν — he released the loan entirely. The sum (ten thousand talents) is deliberately absurd — billions in wages. It pictures the debt of sin we owe God: impossible to repay, freely cancelled.
A hundred denarii — a few months' wages — owed by a fellow servant.
κρατήσας αὐτὸν ἔπνιγεν … οὐκ ἤθελεν
kratēsas … epnigen … ouk ēthelen
He seized his fellow servant by the throat … and he would not, but threw him into prison till he should pay.
The contrast is staggering: forgiven billions, he throttles a man over pocket change. Every offense against us is the "hundred denarii" beside the "ten thousand talents" God released in us. Unforgiveness forgets the size of its own pardon.
What Jesus says at the end is meant to land on us.
παρέδωκεν αὐτὸν τοῖς βασανισταῖς … οὕτως καὶ ὁ πατήρ μου
tois basanistais … houtōs kai ho patēr mou
His master delivered him to the torturers … So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.
The closing line is the point of the whole parable: forgiven people must forgive, "from the heart." The one who won't release is handed to the βασανισταί — the tormentors. Unforgiveness does not punish the offender; it imprisons the one who holds it.
Jesus did not leave forgiveness in the realm of the admirable-if-you-can-manage-it. He bound it directly to our own standing before God — and repeated the point more than once.
ἐὰν … ἀφῆτε … ἀφήσει καὶ ὑμῖν … ἐὰν δὲ μὴ ἀφῆτε …
ean aphēte … aphēsei kai hymin
If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Of all the lines in the Lord's Prayer, this is the one Jesus stops to underline. Forgiveness is not a fee we pay to earn pardon — it is the proof that pardon has truly reached us. A forgiven heart forgives; a heart that won't has not yet felt its own release.
ὅταν στήκητε προσευχόμενοι, ἀφίετε εἴ τι ἔχετε κατά τινος
hotan stēkete … aphiete ei ti echete kata tinos
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone.
"If you have anything against anyone" — no offense is exempt. Jesus even says to leave your gift at the altar and be reconciled first (Matt 5:24). Unforgiveness interrupts both worship and prayer.
Unforgiveness is not just a personal failing — it is a foothold. Paul names it as one of the enemy's favorite devices, and Scripture warns how a held offense festers into something that defiles far beyond the one who holds it.
ἵνα μὴ πλεονεκτηθῶμεν ὑπὸ τοῦ Σατανᾶ· οὐ γὰρ αὐτοῦ τὰ νοήματα ἀγνοοῦμεν
hina mē pleonektēthōmen … ta noēmata
…so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes.
The context is forgiving a repentant offender. Paul says: forgive, lest Satan "take advantage" (πλεονεκτέω — to exploit, gain the upper hand). Unforgiveness is a known device (νόημα) of the enemy — bait he sets to get a foothold in a believer. Compare Eph 4:26–27: do not let the sun set on your anger, and "give no place to the devil."
μή τις ῥίζα πικρίας ἄνω φύουσα ἐνοχλῇ
rhiza pikrias … enochlē
…lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.
Held offense grows a root of bitterness that poisons not only its owner but "many." The cure is the opposite posture: "be kind … forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Eph 4:32) — and the word there is χαρίζομαι, forgive-as-grace.
Forgiveness is a decision made before God, often long before the feelings follow. You are not pretending it didn't matter; you are choosing to cancel what is owed and to put the matter into God's hands — the same way the king released the servant, and the same way God in Christ released you.
"Father, I forgive ______ for ______. I cancel the debt they owe me and release them to You. I let go of my right to repayment, and I put this into Your hands. I ask You to bless them and do them good. As You in Christ forgave me, so I forgive them. In Jesus' name, amen."
The parable's "tormentors" are not poetic exaggeration. Held offense tortures from the inside — the replays, the bitterness, the hardening. It claims to be holding the other person accountable, but the only cell it locks is your own.
παρέδωκεν αὐτὸν τοῖς βασανισταῖς
paredōken … tois basanistais
…and his master delivered him to the torturers.
βασανιστής is the jailer who torments. The unforgiving servant ends where his grip put him — in torment. Refusing to release another, we lock ourselves in.
μηδὲ δίδοτε τόπον τῷ διαβόλῳ
mēde didote topon tō diabolō
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.
Anger nursed overnight becomes τόπος — ground handed to the enemy. The longer the fist stays closed, the more room he is given. Quick release keeps the door shut.
Forgiveness is releasing the debt and your right to repayment. It is not saying the wrong didn't matter, not pretending it didn't happen, and not the automatic restoration of trust. Reconciliation is a further step that needs the other person's repentance and may take time; safety and wise boundaries can remain. You can fully forgive someone you do not yet (or cannot safely) reconcile with.
The word χαρίζομαι ties forgiveness to charis — we "grace" others because we were graced. The pattern is always the same: "even as God in Christ forgave you" (Eph 4:32). When forgiveness feels impossible, the way forward is not to dig up more willpower but to look again at the size of your own cancelled debt.
| Word | Greek | Sense & key texts |
|---|---|---|
| aphiēmi | ἀφίημι | To send away, let go, release, cancel — Matt 6:12; 18:27; Mark 11:25. |
| aphesis | ἄφεσις | Release, remission, liberty — Luke 4:18; Eph 1:7; Acts 2:38. |
| charizomai | χαρίζομαι | To forgive as a free gift of grace — Eph 4:32; Col 3:13; 2 Cor 2:10. |
| apolyō | ἀπολύω | To set free, let go, release — Luke 6:37 ("forgive, and you will be forgiven"). |